Deviant Login Shop  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour

:icondamaimikaz: More from DamaiMikaz

More from deviantART


Submitted on
February 10
Submitted with Writer


9,612 (4 today)
167 (who?)
I had such a pretty face. 
Or at least, that was what they told me when I posted my picture

I have to admit that I rarely post my face online. Not so much for privacy's sake (I don't have the illusion of privacy, with the NSA around) but more because I've never liked taking pictures pictures. Back in the time, I was probably one of the few young girls that wasn't fond on making selfies, and therefore often had ID's showing either my back, my drawing equipment, or just a drawn image of me. The reason I posted a picture, was because it was for a good cause. An issue that I wanted to raise awareness for myself. The many people that had already posted their real pictures, encouraged me as well. That internet isn't all about faking who you are, but about the 'real' you as well. No matter who you are. Boy or girl, pretty or ugly.

I was laying in my bed already as a friend send me a note on Facebook. Or rather; a screenshot. The picture I submitted initially for fun, had apparently reached the front page. 
And when I got to DeviantArt the next day, I had about 1500 new messages waiting for me. 

Yes, that's indeed pretty much insane...

I've been around on the internet for quite long. And the times that things surprise me gets rarer over the years. But I was honestly surprised about the many people that commented on that picture.
400 faves. Hell, even my regular art doesn't get that many. Flattering. But why? Because people liked me for who I was? Or because I apparently looked 'awesome', considering today's standards? Would people have reacted the same way if I turned out the be one hell of an ugly motherf*cker? I'm still confused about that. 

Not too long ago, when I was still a teenager, I was being called ugly every single day.
As popular and unapproachable as I might seem to some of you now... back then I was probably one of the most ugly and despised girls at school. 
Given, I wasn't exactly a beauty. I was a late-bloomer. A nerd that was obsessed with art and computer programming, far more than with looks. Honestly, I liked what I did. But I was a teenager and was kinda shy. And since bullies tend to have a sense for that kind of thing, they bullied the living hell out of me. My time at high school was as close to hell as one could get. I wasn't only hurt physically, but basically excluded from all group activity and called names on a daily basis. There wasn't much certainty at high school, except for one: no boy at school would ever wanted to be seen around me.

It's strange how events like that can turn one's life around. 
For me, it opened up an entirely different perspective on people. One in which you shouldn't always judge people on their package, but on the content inside. Over the years I've learned to value people for their knowledge and experience, rather than their looks. Because looks come by their selves. You either are lucky enough to inherit a good looking pair of genes, or you are not. Experience, on the other hand, is something people work their asses off for. Something that takes effort, and deserves respect.

During this whole DA event, many people told me they were afraid to post their picture, because they didn't think of their selves as pretty. Some of them even tried to guilt-talk me into that it was so easy for me to post mine, because I apparently had a pretty face considering their standards, and therefore everybody would instantly love me.
I have mixed feelings about this. People feeling bad about their selves, just because I posted a picture. That was never my intention. The whole thing is even weirder, because apparently now some of the people assume me to be one of 'those people' that looks down on them, simply because of looks. The same type of person that I used to hate on high school -- and quite the opposite from what I actually am. I am confused.

Well... these are just my 5 cents on the topic.
Just know things aren't always what they seem to be.
Add a Comment:
Mangamog Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2014  Hobbyist
Finishing high school was definitely an enlightening experience. Makes you realise thankfully life isn't highschool and you don't have to be restricted and labelled by it forever. Thank gosh =) I think 'misery loves company' is a saying that is often acted upon, even if unintentionally. When people are feeling depressed or down seeing other people happy and feeling great can evoke resentment and spite or even little phrases like "you're so much prettier than I am" which is an insult hidden in a compliment not actually ment to make you feel happy, but guilty. It is extremely easy to fall into self pity and resent others happiness. A lot harder to overcome in my opinion. I still do my absolute best at trying to treat other's how you wish to be treated because I really don't want to make others feel bad at my expense, because it is a self destructive system anyway.

Uh, so that's my opinion on the matter! =)
SonikaCain Featured By Owner May 27, 2014
Late comment but I thought maybe I'd toss in my two cents, so uh. Ye.

I'm still in school, the teachers think I have autism, and they're not subtle about it. So I get grouped in with the same kids who hiss at the people they don't like and it makes it kind of hard to get people to take me seriously, the teacher's laugh at me when I deny being autistic.
When I was younger I saw stuff like Hannah Montana and I promised I'd never be upset about being picked last in sports or being hated but then when I started meeting more people like me on the internet (because Ireland, or at least this part, is pretty narrow-minded and alienating) , and then I started noticing that people moved away from me if they sat nearby, I sometimes hear people saying stuff like "I'm afraid of that girl". They laugh at me and growl as I walk by. then again the summer holidays are in two days so it could be worse.

Well those are the rants of a confused I-forget-how-old-I-am year old. Sorry if it's broken or the spelling's weird but I haven't been able to sleep.
Zazzine Featured By Owner May 27, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Aww... :( Well don't let it get you down.  I don't see why people would think you deserve that mistreatment.  You sound perfectly normal to me.  
SonikaCain Featured By Owner May 28, 2014
I plan on doing what my art teacher said, get through the system.
Then I can go happily live in my box outside tesco. :D
Zazzine Featured By Owner May 28, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
:) best wishes
SonikaCain Featured By Owner May 28, 2014
Thanks. :D
ShadowHawk137 Featured By Owner May 2, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Very astute. I understand completely what you've written here, as I came to the same conclusions myself in my last year of high school. It's strange now to read this and just think, "Yeah. That's right. Doesn't everyone know that?" But I guess they don't. And they won't if they haven't already. The thing about this kind of message is that it's not something you can tell people; it's something you learn for yourself through your own experiences. You can never understand it by being told.
I'd like to say that I'm sorry you were bullied in school, but I won't. The fact is that if you hadn't, you might not have turned out the way that you did, awesome as you are, and then where would we all be? That bullying made you stronger, and you survived it. You learned how to live as an individual and grow beyond what the flock of idiots could be together. I don't want to sound like I encourage bullying, but I recognize it as a form of adversity that people can either succumb to or transcend. You transcended, and it has made you better.

I'd like to answer your question for you, about why you got so many responses to your picture. About why people comment on your beauty now when everyone told you you were ugly in school. This is mostly conjecture on my part, since I only know people who are like you and not you personally, but I would say the difference is confidence. You can see it on your face in the photo. It's not the fake, "Oh, I know I'm pretty because everyone tells me I am," confidence. It's the real, "This is me and if you don't like it you can f*** off," confidence. It took me a while to learn the difference and be able to know it in myself, and I didn't know you when you were in school (or even now), but I can see it. When you know yourself and have made peace with who you are, that is when your inner beauty can come out for the world to see, and it changes how you look outside. Your body language. Your facial expressions. The way you carry yourself. All of it changes, and others can see it whether they recognize what it is or not. Some people feel threatened by this self-confidence and lash out, demeaning themselves as if they could never have it. But they can, just like you do.
I'd like to say now, to everyone who reads this comment, that you should never be afraid to be yourself. I can guaranty that 10 times out of 10 it's the right move  People think that pretending to be someone they aren't will make people like them. It won't. It will make them like someone who doesn't exist, and they will never love you for it. Being yourself will show you how people really feel, and if they don't like you, you won't have to waste time on them. But if they do like you, then they'll love you. Sure, it is tough to be yourself, but it's more rewarding for you and those around you. Just trust yourself, and you will find someone to like you for being you.
Dolly-Milk Featured By Owner May 27, 2014
This. This is really encouraging and great to hear.
ShadowHawk137 Featured By Owner May 27, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm glad you approve. I was and am still worried some people may take it the wrong way, but if even one person can benefit from it, then it will be worth all the hate I'll get. (Although by this point, I doubt I'll get any. DeviantArt has one of the best and accepting communities on the internet.) :)
Dolly-Milk Featured By Owner May 29, 2014
I don't think anyone will take it the wrong way ^^ And yeah. that's really true. c:
Add a Comment: